Hidden Emotions
by Fireruby
Summary: Love is not planned. Nor is it expected. It'll sneak up on you like a crafty snake... and hold you in it's grasp forever. Hidden Emotions - Take 2. RaBB. [Fragmented]
1. Author Note

**Author's Note:**

**Dearest Readers,**

**Looking back on it, I've decided that this fic (no matter the fact that it's my first Teen Titans fic)… sucked. Seriously, honestly… it just sucked. An insult to the show and fanfiction in general.**

**^_^ So, I'm rewriting it.**

**I hope to better catch Raven and Beast Boy's personalities in this new version, and to make it more meaningful and less… fluff. oO**

**I hope you enjoy the new version. I'll be posting one or two chapters a day, starting tomorrow.**

**Enjoy.**

**::Fireruby::**


	2. Chapter 1: Ponderings

**Hidden Emotions**

**By Fireruby**

**Disclaimer: ^^; I don't own Teen Titans. But, gosh, don't I wish I did! **

**Chapter 1:  Ponderings**

**The** Teen Titans had just come back from yet another long, life-threatening battle. They had, of course, won. So… obviously… they'd gone out to party afterwards. Now, however, they were back home, and settling back into their usual routine.   
  
Cyborg sat down on the couch and flipped on the TV and game station. Robin sat down next to him and grabbed both the controllers off the floor, tossing one to Cyborg. Starfire sat down next to Robin, anxious to watch the virtual mêlée. She couldn't help but smile as Robin's hand accidentally brushed over hers.  
  
Raven, never really one for video games, had gone into the kitchen to fix them all some drinks.  
  
Beast Boy, however, was clearly exhausted. After returning home, he had almost immediately headed up to his room, yawning and comically rubbing his eyes.  
  


  
3 3 3  
  


  
Beast Boy sighed and stretched out on his bed. Missions usually made him like this. After all the clue solving, fighting, and celebrating, he felt utterly done in.  
  
He let out another deep sigh and snuggled his head into his pillow. He winced and swiftly pulled his head back up as he felt a sharp object poke through the cotton and jab his head.   
  
After a few moments of lazily groping under his pillow, he pulled out the object underneath it. It was a small, framed picture. He smiled, remembering placing it there the day before. Inside the wood-carved frame was a picture of the team, standing together. United. Robin, Cyborg, Starfire, Beast Boy and Raven.  
  
_Raven…_  
  
As much as he wouldn't want to admit it, just thinking about her made his heart flutter. He wasn't sure just what it was about her that made it feel like he did. Sure, she was always calm and collected… smart and cool… and her powers were amazing… but there was something else… he couldn't explain it… when he was around her, he felt safe… Even when they were in a fight, or when she was acting bitter… He knew he could trust her, and it was good to know. It almost made him feel like nothing could go wrong… like everything was right in the world… Like everything was right with him… and… like he could always feel free to be himself…  
  
It confused him. He'd never felt anything like this before.  
  
He had confided his feelings to Robin only a few weeks ago, making him swear not to tell "for the sake of their friendship." Robin hadn't been as much help as he'd hoped. The team's leader had simply shrugged and told him, "I've heard love can do strange things to a person. Maybe that's why you feel so confused. I'm sorry."  
  
The words still rang in his head.  
  
Love can do strange things…   
  
Love can do….  
  
_Love…._  
  
Love?? Was that really what he was feeling for Raven?  
  
He couldn't help but wonder if she felt the same about him.  
  
He suddenly snapped out of his thoughts, shaking his head. _Duh! Of course not. Stop thinking that way, man. Raven's too together… collected… serene… how can I describe her?……. Perfect, I guess…._ He blushed intensely at this thought, even though he knew no one could hear what he was thinking. _That's the word, though. Perfect. And… she's completely out of my league._

  
3 3 3  
  


  
Raven set out 5 glass mugs.   
  
She poured Robin and Cyborg chocolate milk, knowing that they would want the sweet liquid to rejuvenate them. Especially during their match. It was almost funny how competitive the two were.  
  
She poured Starfire the last of the orange juice, adding in a dab of the new condiment Star could _not_ get enough of; mustard. She shuddered. Tamaranians. She didn't think she would ever understand how their taste buds worked.   
  
After preparing Starfire's… 'drink', Raven set out a kettle of tea for herself, hoping it would help calm her nerves a little. As she set about making it, she thought about what she'd be preparing next…  
  
Beast Boy's mug. She contemplated this for a moment. Beast Boy could be a little complicated. He had specific tastes. He loved juice, but that wasn't an option; they'd run out of the orange juice just two minutes ago, and the pitcher of Kool-Aid was gathering some sort of… blue, mold-ish substance. This was a bigger problem then expected, since he refused to eat or drink anything that came from animals. That included milk, which was pretty much the only edible drink they had available. No more of that fake milk of his was left…

_We really need to go shopping…_

She pondered this a moment more before letting out a resigned sigh and pouring him some of her tea. She hoped he didn't disapprove of it too much.  
  
It was stupid, she knew that, but… she didn't want to ever disappoint him. She never wanted to make him feel anything but happiness. To see him without his goofy grin… Without his constant laughter and blissfulness… It hurt her. A lot.

And she had no idea why.

She needed guidance… Not that she'd **ever** tell **anyone **about it.

But… her secret was not an easy one to keep. Despite her powerful self-control, there were times when she couldn't contain her wandering thoughts… And that worried her.  
  
She thought back to a week ago. Cyborg and Robin had been arguing over something trivial once again, and Starfire was desperately trying her best to put a stop to the argument. Since the other titans were occupied, Raven and the green-skinned clown were left eating breakfast together… alone. Well, if you could call it "eating breakfast together". Beast Boy was enthusiastically chowing down his tofu eggs, while Raven quietly sipped at her herbal tea. No words were exchanged. She was looking down at the table, when she spotted him out of the corner of her eye. Staring at her. Her head had quickly snapped up, meeting his gaze, wondering if he'd wanted to say something. Unexpectedly, he had turned a lovely shade of red and quickly returned to his meal.   
  
Seeing him act like that… gazing at her, blushing when she noticed… it gave her a strange feeling. It made her feel light-headed, her heart sped up and her stomach felt like it was doing loop-de-loops. It was strange - and for her, very dangerous. She decided to get to the bottom of it.  
  
Later that day, she had dived into her meditative mirror, to search for the reason. She had searched through many of her different 'sides', when she noticed something very strange. There was a _new _side to her mind! Well… if you could call it that. This new dimension was incredibly different from the others. Not it's own entirely, but a grand mix of every corner of her mind. It was the crossroad to the many colors of her personality.

Raven had wandered over to the new section, only exploring a few moments before coming face to face with her new side. The girl, of course, looked almost exactly like her. But, there was something very different about her face. She looked utterly elated… her eyes danced with her every movement. Her cloak was a beautiful mauve color that almost seemed to give off it's own faint light.  
  
"Who… _are_ you?" Raven had asked the girl.  
  
She'd seemed to think the question was a little silly. "I'm Raven."  
  
Raven nodded. "Of course. I mean… well… _how_ are you?"  
  
This time the girl smiled gaily, twirling around a little as she spoke. "I'm in love."  
  
Raven shook her head sharply, cutting off her reminiscing. _Concentrate, girl. You are _**_fixing drinks_**_. Don't daydream or the other will think something is amiss. Besides… even if you really did… _**_love_**_ Beast Boy… he could never love you in return… Stony, sarcastic, sharp, strict Raven… how could he ever love someone like you when he's so bright… kind… cute… sweet… funny… _She sighed, shaking her head. Those words weren't enough to describe him. _What's a good word for him? …. Perfect. _Her cheeks actually went pink from the impulsive thought. For a moment she had to struggle fiercely with herself, trying not to let her powers slip out with her sudden embarrassment. 

When the emotion finally left her she sighed and lifted up all five mugs, using her powers to carry them back to the Titan's living room. _That's the word, though… He is too perfect for me. And…. He's entirely out of my reach__._

**(AN: o_o OMG. Thank you, mi/ri for catching my mistake. I'm surprised no one else commented on it! ^^;; *feels so stupid*)**


	3. Chapter 2: Disaster

Chapter 2: Disaster 

Raven walked into the Titan living room, the glass mugs levitating in front of her. She carefully set them down on the coffee table.  
  
Robin and Cyborg each both grabbed their chocolate milk. Both were still absorbed in their game, but murmured their thanks.   
  
Starfire picked up the OJ & mustard and looked up at Raven.   
  
"Is this encased liquid my own?" She asked.  
  
Raven nodded. Starfire gave Raven one of her oh-so-innocent grins, and took a drink. "It is wonderfully tasteful. I thank you."  
  
Raven nodded again. Then she noticed something.  
  
"Where's Beast Boy?" Raven asked, forcing herself to keep her voice uncaring.  
  
"Beast Boy was seeming to be very tired. He has retired to his room of sleeping." Starfire answered.  
  
"Oh." Raven shrugged. She picked up the two glasses of tea. "No use in wasting the drink. I'll go see if he wants his."  
  
Starfire nodded and turned her attention back to the game.  
  
Raven took a quick glance at the game's scoreboard before she starting up the stairs. Robin was winning against Cyborg. Florida was getting snow today.  
  


  
3 3 3  
  


  
Beast Boy jumped when he heard someone knocking on his door. He stashed the picture back underneath his pillow and cleared his throat.  
  
"Um… Come in."  
  
He was rather taken aback when the person he had just been thinking about opened his door and walked in to his room. She seemed her usual self.

  
"I thought you might like something to drink, but I was told you were already in your bedroom. I thought I'd see if you wanted it anyway."  
  
Beast Boy grinned, nodding. "Thanks." He scooted over on his bed, making enough space for her to sit next to him. The invitation was an obvious one.  
  
Raven hesitated for a moment, and then accepted, sitting down beside him. She handed him one of the tea-filled mugs. "There was nothing else."  
  
Beast Boy shrugged casually. "Whatever. Just as long as you didn't spit in it."

He laughed at his own little joke, and treated her to his sweetest grin. For a second, Raven's cool disposition melted away. What she wouldn't give, for just once… to grin happily back at him… to laugh at his lame jokes… Being with him made her want to forget everything she'd been taught about controlling her powers, and laugh the day away like he did… Have not a care in the world…

She hurriedly got a hold of herself once more. 

3 3 3  
  


  
Beast Boy took a sip of the tea and was surprised to find it tasted marvelous. The vapors relaxed mind… And the warm liquid ran down his throat and thoroughly soothed him… _Whoa…_  
  


"It's good."   
  
Raven shrugged. "Thanks." She stood up, Beast Boy's bed quietly squeaking as the weight was lifted. "I… should go."  
  
Beast Boy nodded, a little disappointed that she was leaving so soon. He tried to not let it show. "Okay." _Does she have to leave…? Why does she want to? I want to spend time with her… Maybe she doesn't want to spend time with me… But… Does she have to go?_  
  
Raven was quite reluctant to leave, too. After a moment of hesitation, she picked her drink back up and made for the door. "Good Night."

Without really thinking, Beast Boy hurriedly stood up. "Raven! Wait!"

Raven froze, turning back around to face him. "…. What?"

Beast Boy immediately regretted he'd said anything. He stuttered for an answer. "Er… I… um…. Can we talk?"

"We're talking _now_, Beast Boy."

"Yeah…"

Raven sighed and started turn to leave again, when Beast Boy took a few steps toward her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Raven… Don't go…"

Raven was silent. She tried to respond, but couldn't say anything. All she could think about was that hand on her shoulder. _Why… am I so glad? Why… He's only touching my shoulder… Why… Do I feel like it means more?_

For a while they stood there. Raven gazing at Beast Boy, and Beast Boy staring right back. Both at a loss for words.

And then… something unexpected happened.

Beast Boy slowly leaned towards Raven… _She's not pulling away…_ Took a step forward, pressing himself against her…. _That must mean she's also… _Ignoring that incredibly nervous feeling inside him… _She's also feeling what I am_… He tilted his head upwards, capturing her lips in a kiss.

Raven's eyes widened at his actions. She was torn. Half of her wanted this. Very badly. It was that vast part of her that was so deeply in love. But her other half… her sane half… knew how dangerous this was. Already, countless days worth of unexpressed emotions, bottled up inside her, were threatening to break loose. They shook violently within her, desperate to get out.

If that happened, it'd be fatal.

Raven pulled away from Beast Boy, squeezing her eyes shut in an effort to keep control.

Beast Boy was stunned as Raven turned and ran out of the room. He groaned and shook his head, tears threatening to spill. "I'm so _stupid_…"

  
3 3 3  
  


Raven didn't know where she was running to, only that she was running. She vaguely realized that she must seem like an idiot, running through the tower's halls and rooms, not even looking to see where she was going. But, she didn't care. She only knew she needed to get away. Fast. Before those overwhelming emotions threatened to take a hold of her once again…


End file.
